Thursday, August 23, 2012
RRT: Imagining an Imagination
My imagination used to be wild. I was an only child for 9 years so I learned early how to keep myself busy. I could come up with immaculate stories and design everything in my head down to the smallest detail. I would have whole deep conversations with my Barbies as I took them through the house. Remember the boy from the movie Toy Story? He had those movie style play sessions with his toys. I remember a few of my friends saying how they could never remember a time when they played that hard with their toys. Well I do remember! I was exactly like him. I never bothered my parents, (actually they often had to check on me to make sure I was awake because I was so nonexistent) and could sit by myself for hours on end playing and doing things with my imagination.
Remember Barney. "With Imagination and the Barney bag, we'll see what we can make today. Yeah! We'll see what we can make today" That was me! I could imagine Barney in my room, a full size dinosaur playing and making arts and crafts. I didn't have any imaginary friends that I took around with me or anything, I knew they weren't real and I didn't make them anything else. But I still imagined they were there when I was alone.
I notice now though, that my imagination is starting to deflate. I was listening to the Leviathan audiobook (the review will probably be posted in a few weeks) and the author came up with excessive amounts of machines and animals and other stuff. I found myself completely lost. Without the pictures accompanying the actual hard copy book, I found I could not picture any of those items. I mean, obviously the author knew it would be a bit difficult to imagine some of the stuff since he decided to include the pictures in the first place, but still. I should have at least been able to picture something. But no. My mind, when the text referenced these animals and machines, put in their place a silhouette...much like the one you get on facebook before you upload a profile picture (question mark included) except they were machine silhouettes or animal silhouettes. Its quite frustrating.
Granted, I know my imagination is still there. I can still imagine the way full conversations will go n my head, or have full on imaginative day dreams. I can still dive fully and completely into a book to the point that I can imagine I'm in there too, but sometimes I just cant picture some of the stuff. It's almost like trying to remember a dream after I've woken up. Some of it's there, but I cant imagine the way it all fits together, or remember the little details. I'm worrying I may be losing my imagination. Is such a thing even possible?
Maybe grown ups aren't allowed to have imaginations like kids, or maybe I'm overreacting, Regardless, I want my imagination back, but how? Do you just slowly but surely build it back up the way you do muscles that have disappeared or do you just tally the loss and hold on tight to what you have left.
I need tips folks. Tell me you feel the same way at times. Tell me I'm an idiot who's over thinking this. Tell me something!