Random Rant Thursday: On wanting to be a vampire, and other personal inadequacies

It's been quite some time since I've written an RRT, and that's mainly because I just wasn't feeling it. My wedding, my writing, my reading, my listening to audiobooks, and just my general life have been taking up all my free time, and I haven't wanted to write about what I'm doing or reading or listening to as much as I have wanted to just do it, or read it, or listen to it. Then the other day, I decided I wanted to be a vampire.

Okay, in my defense, I had been listening to the Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost (review coming soon) on audio practically every spare second of my day. Ran through the whole 7 book series, plus 1 novella and 5 additional spinoff novels in less than 2 weeks. Thats probably too much supernatural in one span of time for anyone to make any real sense. Then I went out with my husband and his master's program peers one night, had a few drinks, and thought more about the stories I was so obsessed with.

I legit found myself looking around me and wondering if some of the people around me may be vampires and I just wasn't paying attention. I was looking to the skies to see if someone may be flying, and trying to see if there was something just a little too surreal about some of the people around me. Needless to say, I found no such vampires, and I woke up the next morning with a screaming headache.

That isn't to say I don't believe in the existence of some other worldly creature, whether it be vampires, or shapeshifters, or any other strange being. I absolutely do, just like I believe in the existence of a higher power, and likewise in the existence of that higher power's opposing power. In my opinion, it doesn't make sense that just because I don't see that something is there, doesn't mean it's not there.

To me, they all exist outside of my human realm of understanding and viewing, and with that existence comes the urge to become more than who I actually am. All the stories I read and love surround the one basic ideal of one person (or in some cases many people) being secretly more than who everyone else is. They're faster, can read minds, carry magic, control minds, drink blood, eat an over abundance of food,  you name it and they do it. I'm just human though, and I can do none of those things, so what makes me so special, not just to myself but to those around me.

Perhaps that's the underlying reason I picked up jiu jitsu, so I can somehow feel like I'm not wasting my life away and doing nothing to make me stand out from the crowd. Maybe it's why I no longer care when people tell me I'm different because I read a ton, or different because I think slightly different than other people they've met. Maybe it's why I write about girls with superpowers and unexplainable urges. I'm not sure. What I am sure about is that if I had a choice, I would prefer to be a shapeshifter of some sort because in all the stories they get to eat as much as they want and not gain a pound, and they can go out in the sun. Realistically though, I probably wouldn't get much of a choice because vampire, shapeshifter, secret government experiment, or just plain human, I'd make the best of whatever hand I get dealt. What other choice do I really have.

What are your thoughts? Do you believe? Does your reading ever make you wonder about who you are as a person? Do you wonder if you would actually make good decisions if given even a percentage of the power of some of the people in these stories we read? Let me know in the comments below.

Review: Mind Games by Kiersten White

Book: Mind Games
By: Kiersten White
Published: February 19, 2013
Published by: HarperTeen

Description: Fia was born with flawless instincts. Her first impulse, her gut feeling, is always exactly right. Her sister, Annie, is blind to the world around her—except when her mind is gripped by strange visions of the future.

Trapped in a school that uses girls with extraordinary powers as tools for corporate espionage, Annie and Fia are forced to choose over and over between using their abilities in twisted, unthinkable ways…or risking each other’s lives by refusing to obey.

In a stunning departure from her New York Times bestselling Paranormalcy trilogy, Kiersten White delivers a slick, edgy, heartstoppingly intense psychological thriller about two sisters determined to protect each other—no matter the cost.

My Thoughts: Mind games was a great read told through the two MC's POV in the format of a stream of consciousness and thought. It was a great fast paced book that told its readers that anything is possible, if you try hard enough.

We follow Fia and Annie. Fia has ridiculously flawless instincts and her sister, though blind, can see the future easily. At a young age, they get roped into joining a school, even though Fia's gut instinct tells her not to, and after that, life is difficult for them. Fia's instincts are never wrong, but she joins the school because her sister begs her too, and slowly but surely she realizes that the school isn't all it's sold to be. It's one that uses those with special powers for monetary gain, and Fia's one of a kind. She fights amazingly because her instincts are always right. The school won't let her go, and are willing to threaten her sister to keep her there. Soon, it becomes obvious that they need to get out, but how do you get out of a school that's comprised of people who can see your future and read your thoughts. They know what you're planning before you even have a solid plan together which means, the only way to plan escape, is to not plan at all. A feat easier said than done.

Because Fia knows of those people's abilities around her, her instincts force her mind to run through things quickly. She plans nothing, jumps from decision to decision following her instincts completely, causing the Seer's difficulty when trying to see her future, and forcing the readers to have headaches whenever they try to delve into her mind. For that reason, the reader feels right in the moment. We don't have time to think about what we're reading, we just read, and think later. It's a great change from traditional books.  Annie is less important in the book in my opinion, she's Fia's weakness, and she knows it, and all she wants is to find a way to make Fia happy, better, good. She has no idea how.

As for love interests, this book has two, though it's not a love triangle, more than just interest in two people and a quick and easy decision between the two. Adam is the good boy outside the school who Fia likes but isn't sure she can actually be with. James is the sexy bad boy inside who accepts what Fia has done, and wants her to help him rise to the top. The decision isn't as obvious as it seems, and at the end, you'll be super shocked with what happens.

This was a great book. I liked the characters, though Fia was often pretty psychotic I really liked her. It was random and great and interesting and I will definitely be reading the next book in the series. I give it 4.5 stars.